Vern, My Dear Friend... You Will Be Missed!

It's about a quarter to 8 pm Friday night March 23rd, 2007. I'm driving to Yonkers with the Godkids and their mom. I get a call from my best friend Tray. I knew it was her because of her ringer. I couldn't get to the phone because it was buried underneath the kids coats. So I just let it go to voicemail. I figured I'll call her back when we got to our destination. About 10 Seconds later she calls my phone again. I'm still on the highway so I couldnt get to it but I figured maybe its something important cuz she doesnt usually call back to back like that. So as I'm driving with the left hand, I'm searching for the phone with my right. By the time I found my phone the call had ended. A few seconds after that my Godsister's phone started ringing. She's Tray's sister and Tray knew we were taking the kids to Pizza & Brew. Theresa answers the phone and says "Hey girl wassup, Suly couldnt answer the phone cuz she was driving." (Pause) "She's driving right now" (Pause) "Oh My God are you serious". This is what I'm heaing come out of Theresa'a mouth. She then tells me "Suly, I think you should pull over." I said "Theresa why? what happened?" She continues, "Suly just pull over when you get the chance". I had just reached my exit as she said that. So as I made that right on Jackson Avenue in Yonkers, I pulled over. Theresa passes me her bluetooth and I quickly asked Tracey to tell me what happened. Tray says " Suly I don't know how else to share this with you. Vern, was in an accident a little while ago and he didnt make it". I guess I really didnt process it the first time because my reaction was "huh, what are you talking about?" Tray then says "Suly, Vern is gone, he died in an accident today on the Bruckner, he on his bike and was trying to avoid an accident and swerved". It was slowly starting to sink in "are you serious Tray? I cant believe that, are you sure? Please tell me youre joking" Tray said "I wish I was Su, but he's gone" As she said those words the first teardrop fell. "I can't believe this Tray, we were such good friends and he just text me yesterday". I started to drive again although it was probably not the best idea cuz see, I was driving but my mind was not focused. I dont know exactly how I got to our destination but we did, it was like an out of body experience. I got to Pizza & Brew and still had Tray on the phone. She said "Su, if you need to talk, I'm here." I said "Thanks Tray" and proceeded to hang up the phone. "Are you ok?" Theresa asks. "I'm just in shock right now" I answered. Theresa asked "Do I know this guy?" I said "I'm not sure, I think I have his picture in my phone" I told her. As I went into my phone it was as if I saw a ghost. I saw the last conversation Vern and I will ever have. When I began to read it to myself, I began to cry. "I can't believe this was our last conversation."

March 22, 2007

Vern: Hey What's good this weekend. Where's the party at? Are we hitting the den up one more time for our old Friday usuals miss Missin In Action?
Suly: M.I.A. LOL! I'd love for us to all go back to The Den again. Reem would definitley go, he just sent me a comment about it earlier this week. Just lemme know if the crew wants to go back.
Vern: Aight. So what u and Tray doing this weekend?
Suly: Well I dunno about Tray but I have a date tomorrow night and I'm spending Saturday with someone special
Vern: He's a lucky dude. Is this the same dude you was telling me about?
Suly: Yeah, too bad he doesnt realize it.
Vern: Im sure he does, hes prob just frontin.
Suly: Whatever! He better realize it quick LOL
Vern: Dag just give the brotha a fair shot, remember good things come to those who wait.
Suly: Whateverrrrr! I aint a patient girl LOL
Vern: I aint mad at ya! LOL
Suly: Soooo I heard u a rough ryder now LOL
Vern: Yeah, yeah, u know how we do LOL so when we going for a ride?
Suly: Nah man you a newbie, I aint tryin to go riding with a newbie. U gotta have at least 5 years experience for me to get on LOL
Vern: Nah I aint a newcomer.
Suly: Yeah Yeah u just got your bike LOL
Vern: LOL Aiight, well holla at me if ya'll decide to go to the Den tommorrow.
Suly: Will do.

How was I supposed to know that this would be our last conversation. Dam Vern, Why'd you have to get that fucking bike!! I can't help but to feel as though if I wouldve made more of an effort to get everyone together for our Friday Happy hour that Vern wouldve had no business being in the Bronx that day and he would still be here with us. I know they say "when its someones time to go, theres nothing that can be done to change it" but, I still feel guilty. Ive been fortunate throughout my life to have never lost anyone close to me. I never understood what it felt like to lose a good friend. Its so painful to know that you can never have those good conversations with your buddy anymore. See, Vern and I were mad cool. He was like a brother. We use to talk about all sorts of things. However, I kept our friendship at a distance because Vern was married to a friend of mine. I never wanted her to feel threatened by our friendship. It was bad enough a mutual friend of ours put a buzz in her ear that she needs to watch me around her man. That really bothered me cuz I'm not that kind of girl. Ive just had to realize that sometimes people really have nothing better to do then start drama. If only she knew that I don't get down like that and that Vern & I were just cool peoples. Thing is, half the time he was just asking me for advice. Like for her birthday, he asked me whats a nice restaurant I think he should take his wife to. Thats how it was between us. He'd ask me things to get a females perspective and I'd ask him for the male perspective. Just good friends!
I will never forget my friend Vernon Kearse. He always wanted that bike... he got it... the hard way! He was a good guy who was sometimes misunderstood. So I'm gonna end this with his favorite quote...
"I may have done the things they say I did, but I'm not the person they say I am"

RIP Vernon Kearse
Sunrise: October 28, 1976
Sunset: March 23, 2007

You will be missed!