Dear Suly,

Dear Me,

Hey Sweetie, just in case you're feelin' someone… It's ok to like and show interest towards someone you believe may be special, but here's just a few little known facts to keep in perspective. Read up!!! You know YOU Gotta look out for YOURSELF…
PLEASE Honey, DON'T chase after ANY guy unnecessarily… If a man really wants you, nothing can keep him away! If he doesn't want you, guess what, nothing can make him stay!

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior!

Allow your intuition (YOUR GUT! --- If something in the pit of your stomach says, "something ain't right" guess what honey, it probably isn't) to save you from heartache. (Girl… save yourself the headache!!!)

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't
mistreat another friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, "Why would he treat you any differently"?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel like he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or a better career.

Do not make him into a quasi-god!!! He is just a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you!!

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. ALL men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing ALL the bending...compromise is a two-way street baby.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with any unresolved issues you may have before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun! Remember that...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when he always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he may take it for granted. NEVER accessible!

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others too.

Now keep these things in perspective baby, and you'll be just fine. The next time you have a drink with the girls make a toast to this:
Here's to the guys that love me, the losers that lost me and the lucky bastards who get to meet me!


Loving you always,

Me