Vern, My Dear Friend... You Will Be Missed!

It's about a quarter to 8 pm Friday night March 23rd, 2007. I'm driving to Yonkers with the Godkids and their mom. I get a call from my best friend Tray. I knew it was her because of her ringer. I couldn't get to the phone because it was buried underneath the kids coats. So I just let it go to voicemail. I figured I'll call her back when we got to our destination. About 10 Seconds later she calls my phone again. I'm still on the highway so I couldnt get to it but I figured maybe its something important cuz she doesnt usually call back to back like that. So as I'm driving with the left hand, I'm searching for the phone with my right. By the time I found my phone the call had ended. A few seconds after that my Godsister's phone started ringing. She's Tray's sister and Tray knew we were taking the kids to Pizza & Brew. Theresa answers the phone and says "Hey girl wassup, Suly couldnt answer the phone cuz she was driving." (Pause) "She's driving right now" (Pause) "Oh My God are you serious". This is what I'm heaing come out of Theresa'a mouth. She then tells me "Suly, I think you should pull over." I said "Theresa why? what happened?" She continues, "Suly just pull over when you get the chance". I had just reached my exit as she said that. So as I made that right on Jackson Avenue in Yonkers, I pulled over. Theresa passes me her bluetooth and I quickly asked Tracey to tell me what happened. Tray says " Suly I don't know how else to share this with you. Vern, was in an accident a little while ago and he didnt make it". I guess I really didnt process it the first time because my reaction was "huh, what are you talking about?" Tray then says "Suly, Vern is gone, he died in an accident today on the Bruckner, he on his bike and was trying to avoid an accident and swerved". It was slowly starting to sink in "are you serious Tray? I cant believe that, are you sure? Please tell me youre joking" Tray said "I wish I was Su, but he's gone" As she said those words the first teardrop fell. "I can't believe this Tray, we were such good friends and he just text me yesterday". I started to drive again although it was probably not the best idea cuz see, I was driving but my mind was not focused. I dont know exactly how I got to our destination but we did, it was like an out of body experience. I got to Pizza & Brew and still had Tray on the phone. She said "Su, if you need to talk, I'm here." I said "Thanks Tray" and proceeded to hang up the phone. "Are you ok?" Theresa asks. "I'm just in shock right now" I answered. Theresa asked "Do I know this guy?" I said "I'm not sure, I think I have his picture in my phone" I told her. As I went into my phone it was as if I saw a ghost. I saw the last conversation Vern and I will ever have. When I began to read it to myself, I began to cry. "I can't believe this was our last conversation."

March 22, 2007

Vern: Hey What's good this weekend. Where's the party at? Are we hitting the den up one more time for our old Friday usuals miss Missin In Action?
Suly: M.I.A. LOL! I'd love for us to all go back to The Den again. Reem would definitley go, he just sent me a comment about it earlier this week. Just lemme know if the crew wants to go back.
Vern: Aight. So what u and Tray doing this weekend?
Suly: Well I dunno about Tray but I have a date tomorrow night and I'm spending Saturday with someone special
Vern: He's a lucky dude. Is this the same dude you was telling me about?
Suly: Yeah, too bad he doesnt realize it.
Vern: Im sure he does, hes prob just frontin.
Suly: Whatever! He better realize it quick LOL
Vern: Dag just give the brotha a fair shot, remember good things come to those who wait.
Suly: Whateverrrrr! I aint a patient girl LOL
Vern: I aint mad at ya! LOL
Suly: Soooo I heard u a rough ryder now LOL
Vern: Yeah, yeah, u know how we do LOL so when we going for a ride?
Suly: Nah man you a newbie, I aint tryin to go riding with a newbie. U gotta have at least 5 years experience for me to get on LOL
Vern: Nah I aint a newcomer.
Suly: Yeah Yeah u just got your bike LOL
Vern: LOL Aiight, well holla at me if ya'll decide to go to the Den tommorrow.
Suly: Will do.

How was I supposed to know that this would be our last conversation. Dam Vern, Why'd you have to get that fucking bike!! I can't help but to feel as though if I wouldve made more of an effort to get everyone together for our Friday Happy hour that Vern wouldve had no business being in the Bronx that day and he would still be here with us. I know they say "when its someones time to go, theres nothing that can be done to change it" but, I still feel guilty. Ive been fortunate throughout my life to have never lost anyone close to me. I never understood what it felt like to lose a good friend. Its so painful to know that you can never have those good conversations with your buddy anymore. See, Vern and I were mad cool. He was like a brother. We use to talk about all sorts of things. However, I kept our friendship at a distance because Vern was married to a friend of mine. I never wanted her to feel threatened by our friendship. It was bad enough a mutual friend of ours put a buzz in her ear that she needs to watch me around her man. That really bothered me cuz I'm not that kind of girl. Ive just had to realize that sometimes people really have nothing better to do then start drama. If only she knew that I don't get down like that and that Vern & I were just cool peoples. Thing is, half the time he was just asking me for advice. Like for her birthday, he asked me whats a nice restaurant I think he should take his wife to. Thats how it was between us. He'd ask me things to get a females perspective and I'd ask him for the male perspective. Just good friends!
I will never forget my friend Vernon Kearse. He always wanted that bike... he got it... the hard way! He was a good guy who was sometimes misunderstood. So I'm gonna end this with his favorite quote...
"I may have done the things they say I did, but I'm not the person they say I am"

RIP Vernon Kearse
Sunrise: October 28, 1976
Sunset: March 23, 2007

You will be missed!

To Know Me Is To Love Me... I Think LOL

Ok so before you can understand me, youve gotta learn about my tid bits and quirks... And believe me... I have lots! So here are just a few of my random memories, pet peaves and quirks... Can you relate???

1. When I was little, I stuck a q-tip in my ear and ran into a wall. Boy did it hurt.

2. One time I dialed 911 when I was too young to know any better. The cops came to my house and I blamed it on the little girl my mom babysat.

3. I got my 1st grade classmate suspended because I told everyone he pushed me when I actually tripped and fell myself. I still have the scar on my leg. I recently saw him. Yea...I felt bad.

4. I got bullied when I was in kindergarten.

5. I would win spelling contests when I was in elementary. I kind of don't know what happened now.

6. I feel naked if I don't have a necklace on.

7. I may have obsessive compulsive disorder. Everything has to be in its place.

8. Every time I go inside my room, I have to check my closet and under the bed.

9. Every time I go inside the bathroom, I have to check behind the curtains. I do not know why but I feel that I have to.

10. I used to be madly in love with Slater (Mario Lopez of Saved by the bell).

11. In the 5th grade, I loved Salt & Pepa. My friend and I did a dance in front of the whole school for a talent show. Can you picture it? 5th grade, dancing to "push it" What were we thinking... better yet, what was the school thinking for letting us do it.

12. When I was little, I was eating Trix cereal but I accidentally poured too much in my bowl. I poured some of the cereal back even though it already had milk in it.

13. I got in trouble in the 1st grade for drawing on my classmate's paper. it wasn't my fault that she didn't know how to draw stairs properly and I was showing her how to! I got 10 minutes detention after school for that.

14. I don't really like attention or when people stare at me. I get all embarrassed and shy.

15. I hate being tickled a lot. That's my weakness.

16. I found love at the age of sixteen and again at the age of 23. I guess I'm looking for love in all the wrong places (sigh).

17. I pooped in my mom's stomach before I was born. They said that I almost died because of that.

18. The first part of my 5th grade years, I used to wear the same thing almost everyday because I thought my outfit looked hot and I wanted everyone in the school to notice it. I got made fun of by my brother and I cried. Then the next day my mom took me shopping.

19. My name was actually a mistake. My mom initially wrote Suhely for my Birth Certificate and they must've thought the h was a b and hence the name.

20. I love Kit Kats. I love to eat the outside first. Then layer by layer. mmm!

21. I have an incredible, terrible fear of twisting my ankles. It sucks though because sometimes it stops me from doing certain dance moves full out.

22. I don't round off numbers to the nearest 5. I set my alarm clock to 6:12 and I microwave stuff at 17 seconds or 1 minute and 39 seconds.

23. Chocolate covered gummi bears. OH MY GOODNESS! I love them. During one of my long nights at the studio, my friend bought some of those for our artist Asiah. I secretly ate them while we were sitting listening to her sing.

24. I like to read peoples` about me`s. I think people are interesting and I like to see how different each of them is. I like to sit around and just watch the people walk by. Because of this, I study psychology.

25. I really, really like accents, especially English accents for some reason. I secretly read to myself in a british accent. Sometimes I pretend to be Fran Dresher too.

26. I love meeting new people and having long distance friendships. I just love friends! They're great and they keep me from being lonely.

27. When I was little, my brother locked me up in a chicken coop under the house in PR. I was traumatized.

28. I secretly daydream about being in a happy marriage and having a little girl.

29. I shadow box at home when I get frustrated.

30. When I was in 5th grade I accidentally broke my friends arm. I pulled her hair so that she would sit down and not get in trouble. I guess I pulled too hard. She fell and broke her arm. I begged her not to tell her parents. She did. I got punished.

31. That same friend once pulled out my chair as I was getting ready to sit. I fell and everybody laughed. I ran out of the room crying and didn't speak to her for like a month.

32. I don't like my food to touch each other.

33. I sleep with five strategically placed pillows.

34. I'm proud of my Best Friend.

35. My biggest fear is losing my parents. It keeps me up at nights sometimes.

36. I cry to myself often ...Its great therapy.

37. I can't eat a folded slice of pizza.

38. I have to have ice in my milk or I can't drink it.

39. I told you I don't like to round things off at the nearest 5.